How many dildos does one woman need, really?

In the midsts of moving, I have been frantically scurrying to go through all of my shit, downsize and pack. I went through all of the family pictures and threw a few out. I found my grandparent's rosary beads and my cross and holy medals. I found a newspaper article I was interviewed for because I was competing regionally with my horse via 4-H at the ripe ol' age of 15 and my junior high year book.

Then I came to the framed photographs. My grandparent's wedding picture, and me riding my horse Jac were just two of the twenty or so I found. God I was a beautiful baby. There were pictures of me and my ex-husband still framed, and the nudes I had done for his 21st birthday present almost 10 years ago. As I placed them in a box, I thought to myself," I am looking forward to going through these after the move and replacing them with more current photographs."

I threw out many things including my diploma holder considering that I had mine framed. 11 years worth of work and 40,000 dollars in the hole, I figured the piece of paper deserved some sort of recognition. I have resisted the urge to place a sticker on the glass reading, "Break pane in case of an emergency," and placing it in the bathroom because I actually managed to get a good job with my psych degree.

I am donating my wedding dress to a rummage sale. Vases from flowers sent by men who claimed to have loved me at one time or another also found their way to the donation box. I threw out my work boots, crying the whole time. Their soles were worn away and the laces were thread bare from getting me through one of the most difficult times in my life. It was time to let go.

On to the sex toys where I threw out next to nothing. Some clit cream my ex husband and I bought almost 8 years ago to help me climax during sex found it's way into the trash can. It didn't work. I sat there on my bedroom floor sorting out the dildos, vibrators, butt plugs and other accouterments I happen to own. When I was done packing the dildos and vibrators I realized I owned about a dozen, at least 4 butt plugs, and an array of nipple clamps. There were various lengths of rope and scarves and cuffs and blind folds and ball gags. All of which had barely seen the light of day in the past four years.

As I sat there cleaning and sorting I wondered about the lack of use. It wasn't like my sex life was boring over the past four years, just a lot more vanilla. Had I eaten enough of the other 31 flavors to truly learn to savor the one that worked best for me? Is it like a child that outgrows their toys in time?

These are the thoughts floating around in my head as I prepare to make the transition in my life all the while wondering where Half Pint will fit in.