I was out of ideas. Cymbalta makes me manic. I was starting to have some cognitive effects of being on neurotin. I was feeling good because I'd entered a period of stability in a sense via the boyfriend and stopped all meds except klonopin. So, what's changed?
Well, I have not ridden in nearly 2 months. I also moved in with my boyfriend. While this is a good thing the immediate repercussions are a disruption in my homeostasis which has resulted in the manifestation of a clinical case of depression. Symptoms include loss of interest in activities once enjoyed, weight gain, increased sleeping, increased eating and alcohol consumption, and listlessness.
Does it sound like I'm intellectualizing? Hahahahahahahahaha. Wait now you're going to call me labile, aren't you? Moving on to paranoid? Fuck it bring it all on!
I spent some time with the good Dr and reviewed my case. I was out of suggestions. The ball was totally in his court, and he threw me a curve ball. Abilify.
It's an atypical anti psychotic used to treat various mental illnesses including bipolar. I didn't know much about the drug so of course I went to my favorite web site which for the first time let me down. Finding nothing there I busted out my google chi and found myself at the old faithful wikipedia .
The hard part for me right now is knowing there really isn't a lot known about this med. They put a friend of mine on it a while back and her biggest fear was developing tardive dyskinesia.
I was the one that told her to "quit your bitching and take the damned med if it will make you feel better." I'd look like a real hypocritical asshole if I didn't at least try it.
Day one: Well it takes about two weeks to build up so I'm not so sure if it's a hang over that's getting me or if I'm just having side effects. A bit of restlessness, shakes, mild headache for the bad side. On the upswing of things, the thoughts don't seem to be there today and I can get out of bed.
My fingers are crossed but I'm not holding my breath. My hope is that I don't gain any more weight and I feel happy again soon, but not too happy.
The hard part for me right now is knowing there really isn't a lot known about this med. They put a friend of mine on it a while back and her biggest fear was developing tardive dyskinesia.
I was the one that told her to "quit your bitching and take the damned med if it will make you feel better." I'd look like a real hypocritical asshole if I didn't at least try it.
Day one: Well it takes about two weeks to build up so I'm not so sure if it's a hang over that's getting me or if I'm just having side effects. A bit of restlessness, shakes, mild headache for the bad side. On the upswing of things, the thoughts don't seem to be there today and I can get out of bed.
My fingers are crossed but I'm not holding my breath. My hope is that I don't gain any more weight and I feel happy again soon, but not too happy.
1 comment:
I think of the atypical antipsychotics, I've clinical seen abilify used more with bipolar and clinical depression. However, I'm always sceptical when something gets newly approved by FDA for something, in Abilify's case depression now as well as psychosis and bipolar I and II, and docs are loving it.
I'd say give it a go, see where you end up.
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