What the fuck?!? For starters. I was diagnosed in 2000 with a variation of bipolar and for the past 8 years have off and on tried to live like an ostridge with my head in the sand. The first round of meds included depakote and zoloft which while leaving me with a wonderful stony high also left me shaking and shitting and no sex drive. The second attempt at meds was a wonder drug called lamictal, and for just a moment I felt what I think they call normal. However two weeks into it I wound up in the emergency room with the very rare allergic reaction.
This time it was topamax. I wanted it. Bad. A medicinal side affect was weight loss and my girth wasn't getting any smaller. Part of my depression was a weight gain of nearly 12 pounds in less than 3 months. I also had to admit to myself I needed to stop drinking, at a minimum of every day. A week into it all I could do was lay in bed and bid on stuff off of E-bay. I barely got out of bed. To go to work or go see Pete. My room was a mess. The house was a mess. This wasn't me. The up side was if I did have a drink, I was plowed within one drink and the next day I was guaranteed a headache. After missing Tuesday's dose and waking up Sunday morning and seeing shit, I went and saw my Dr on Monday. No more tompamax for me.
Now with three days off from work to rebound from all of this and the Dr weaning me off of topamax I'm starting to wonder about me and meds. Did I woss out yet again? I'm feeling better. Did I just need to go in and bitch? I mean I tell the patients all the time it takes your body a few days to adjust.
In the end, does anybody really know what works for who?
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