a little update....

Yes, there is a new squeeze and I will be bragging later. There just isn't enough room here.

The room mates: We are at the storming stage of this little group. There have been some outside stressors, but also it's in this stage that we will develop a communication style. I think in the end we will come through everything ok. The trick is for us to be honest and direct. The riff: Come last month they couldn't pay any of the bills. I covered what I could. We made a deal. They would cover the cable bill of 150, and I would take care of the lights and oil and a cord of wood. Huh? I am so bad at making deals. But it pisses me off that they go out and buy stuff for the dog, junk food (even though I've bought food for the house and offered to cook). Yeah, the relationship is financially askewed, but krama right? Also, this is forcing me to trust them. I also need to stop becoming my mother and feeling like I'm being taken advantage of.

Taya is going so well. She didn't even buck when I asked her to canter. The bridle I bought her is too big so I gave it to Pimpett. I think it will look good on her "horse", Casino. She was disappointed that I didn't canter her to the right. We tried, but I didn't want her to buck, and I don't feel that I'm ready to push her or myself. Yes, it jars me when she bucks. I get unnerved and she knows it, but it's funny. All horses sense it and most will take advantage of the rider's insecurity. There is something different with her; almost giving. She feels bad, but she's also in pain. The only way she can let me know is by bucking. I've since started feeding her a joint supplement, and I think it's made a difference. Here's hoping on a homeopathic approach...

Work: Why bother? Same shit different day is the abridged version. I feel like I'm finally settling into night shift, and I'm politely asked to leave because I can't handle it. I'm not getting my time off requests met; at least on one unit. I'm contemplating grieving a shit fuck ton of stuff. All documented and to be discussed with my union delegate.

School: I'm thinking of changing my educational path to teaching horseback riding. Strongly encouraged by T. M.

S.D.'s grandmother passed. My prayers are with him, and I won't lie. I'm apprehensive about his current squeeze being there for him the way he needs love and support.