Well, if you are an idiot then you get what you deserve, right? Is it my fault Twiggy Fuck presented me with an opportunity and shame on me for running with it? I mean really, how stupid can one person be?
On August 20th, he looked down at his watch and said, "Oh, it's the 20th. You got your period, right?" Internal monologue "Why yes, Twiggy fuck. It magically appears at midnight on time every time, just like Cinderella and that fucking pumpkin, women go pop!" ECaxternal monologue, "Yeah, honey. I'm really sorry about that." Twiggy Fuck,"I guess there won't be any face sitting? How long does it last?" Internal monologue"Think quick. How many days left in Italy?" External monologue" 4 days."
Twiggy Fuck can also be called Captain Clueless. At about day 10 into our trip I started to feel a bit guilty about the whole not wanting to have sex with him so once in our hotel room that had a shower big enough for us to run around in, I seductively gave him a little lap dance. Within seconds I had his full attention or so I thought. A couple of tugs on his dick and I figured he'd follow me into the shower to finish him off. No luck. Ok. Well, it's not my fault you can't pick up what I'm throwing down. I up the ante. I parade around the room naked for a few minutes getting ready to pop in the shower, making sure to tug on his dick a few more times before I head into the shower. Still no follow. Fuck you. One last attempt at getting Captain Oblivious to follow me included throwing my skirt at him. Not even the pethera of swears I know that can make a long shoreman blush would excise my frustration at this point.
I get up. I get in the shower, and this morning I get even.
I say I want to go get my own coffee this morning and get up and get dressed. Before I leave the room though, I make sure to give him a motor boat, leaving him with enough wood to sharpen his own pencil. I walk out the door listening to him whining about wanting me to come back. I'm sorry. I don't know what you're talking about. I'm clueless.
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