My mind is a hurricane of thought and quandary. I feel like I am at a cross roads and the choices I make in the next few months will be critical ones. I need to separate issues like I separate my laundry, very carefully and very slowly.
On one hand I have Twiggy Fuck (bf's new nickname). After spending a night out with him I realized how self absorbed he is. I often times wonder if he doesn't so much help me with my bills as he buys my silence. This isn't me, but I think I'm too depressed to even care.
I know I need more on the line than a good lay to get me to LA, but navigating relationships isn't my specialty.
I've been down the road of wanting more and I'm done. I've given up. I wonder as the butterfly moment passes through my mind if that's why I returned to dancing a year ago, and why this entire time no matter what happened with Twiggy Fuck it wouldn't matter all that much.
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