Sometimes, whether you are ready for something or not, it's going to happen regardless. I have learned that you need to accept what life hands you and deal with an unbiased perspective. I'm working on that unbiased part.
I can't completely check my history at the door. It has shaped me and given me the strength to cope. My past has taught me, and caused me to grow. It has prevented me from repeating my mistakes.
I made a booty call to Boat Boy Tuesday afternoon. I felt terrible because when he got to my house he wasn't able to get in. My roommates didn't hear him knocking and I was in the shower primping.
However, through this experience it made me realize that this isn't limited to being some casual sex relationship. It's beyond friends with benefits and each moment I spend with him I feel a deeper connection growing.
If I had to summarize what Boat Boy is becoming is somewhat sort of an emotional hero. He has prevented me from completely shutting down and giving up on everyone, including myself.
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