An announcement.....

SSRT and her boyfriend JT are engaged.

External monologue: "Congratulations!"
Internal monologue "Fucking bitch"

SSRT: Do you like my ring?
External monologue: "It's beautiful"
Internal monologue: "It reminds me of my grandmother's. 20 years later and I still miss her"

SSRT: See my ring? Isn't it pretty?
External monologue: Yes, it's very shinny
Internal monologue: It is a pretty bad ass ring

SSRT: Don't you like my ring?
External monologue: Yes I like your ring
Internal monologue: if she asks me about her fucking ring one more time I'm going to have to start messing with her

SSRT: Don't you like my ring
External monologue: It's okay, I guess
Internal monologue: Fucking bitch
SSRT: WHAT?!?
I said "Fucking bitch"

and this is why SSRT and I are friends

Now for the wedding presents:

JT is easy, and yes I've already told SSRT what they are getting. I'm taking JT shopping for NICE cowboy boots for their wedding.

I'm getting SSRT a dildo and teaching her how to give a porn star blow job