Gifts

With this comes the introduction of Boat Boy. FB has taken me on a strange journey since joining, a reconnection to my roots in some ways. Boat boy used to date my neighbor in high school. From there I remember him dating my riding instructor's granddaughter. We did not date, but we did have a friendship for a little while. I don't remember the details as well as he does, but he is good at teasing them out.

My dad and I talked about this recently with regards to valuing things. He told me that if you earn it, it means more. For me it's just upped the sentimentality of anything given to me. When my father and I weren't speaking, he would randomly give me gifts. I cherish each and every one of them. I have tucked away in the back of my closet a broken horse statue he brought back for me from China. It's broken and it will never go back together, but it's still from him.

So, today Boat Boy took time out to come out to the horse show. It was sweet for him to come out. He gets and respects that I can't date right now. He is supportive and willing to spend time with me without expectations.

Today on the ride back to the barn from the show he tells me he brought me back something from his recent trip to Colorado. It's a magnet cut from a tin in the shape of a horse. I think it might be hand painted and it's of a nature scene. I ran my finger across it, and said thank you. Asked him if he knew my mom was from Denver, and then mentioned I collect magnets, usually with inappropriate sexual innuendos.

Not necessarily within my taste, but the sentiment was sincere. He mentions something about how it might have been inappropriate for him to give a magnet like that. I agreed with a nod, ran my fingers across it, and then wrapped it up in the tissue paper.

Suddenly, I remembered how I moved all my refrigerator magnets to my filing cabinet in my office because Twiggy Fuck didn't like clutter, which included my magnets. The icing on the cake is Twiggy Fuck never lived with me but I rearranged my whole place to try and make him comfortable. Remembering this made me sad.

When I got home I took the magnet out of it's tissue paper, smiled, and put it on my refrigerator. I was given the gift of remembering it's okay to be me, and not to change me for anyone.