Fall Fashion review

So on the train ride from New Haven to New London, on the last leg of my journey home from Italy, I decided I wanted a magazine to read. Ironically, I picked up the latest issue of "Lucky".

I don't bother to read the articles because I feel every magazine targeted at my age group all read the same way, "Sex, fashion, make-up, an attempt at a humanitarian story, fashion, make up, sex". If I want a real magazine I tend to pick up something a little more gender neutral like Utne, Mother Jones, Bitch, or Free Inquiry. However, I was mentally and emotionally fried, so I just wanted some shiny pictures to look at on my train ride home.

Considering I was just in Milano and returning sans shoe shopping adventure, I needed to compensate so I looked at the ads and "fashion advice". Guess ran a full page ad with a tooth pick of a woman. Her hair looked like it was left over from the eighties. From the bottom up it was platform open toed shoes (I thought we were headed into the fall); fish net thigh highs; shorts with a chain belt; exposed mid drift and something that I think is supposed to be a jean jacket of sorts. Hello '80s stripper look!

Just about every other page had some variation of a shoe with a platform that looked vaguely familiar to this retired stripper. I think though formally the style of shoe is being called a platform wedge. Like I said, I don't bother to read the articles.

I continue to turn the pages in a mind numbing sort of way when I spot a red dress that looks familiar and I think to myself "I would look hot in this" because that's about all my synapses can handle at this point.

Up next are a pair of black thigh high boots with a platform wedge. I love thigh high boots! Makes my legs look nice and meaty. Wait these are being worn by yet another tooth pick, and I think to myself "Well, Stuart Weitzman, you've just lost a sale because there is no way those boots are going to fit around these thunder thighs. Which might I also add, I am very proud of." I really don't think the CEO would give a shit, so I stop myself from making a mental note to send them an email complaining.

About mid-magazine there was an ad by Charlotte Russe. I will shamelessly mock anyone shopping at Old Navy, but I have been told I'm a hypocrite because I like Charlotte Russe. Here we have a thicker model, and considering the ad's location in the magazine, Charlotte wasn't into ponying up the money for the tooth pick model version as well as a better location in the magazine. Hey, the economy is tough so everyone has to make cut backs. The good news is by the model being thicker, she finally gets a job. The feminist in me is pleased.

Now onto reviewing her outfit. She is wearing a mini dress with a cap and of course fishnet stockings. I am suddenly feeling fashionably inspired. Who knew I was so high fashion hanging off a pole?

Hype has an ad a bit further back and at first look I am immediately drawn to her shoes. There is a physical reaction that occurs and indicates to me that I like these shoes. Now the "high road" of my brain takes over and I realize there is a penchant/pole correlation going on. Too bad I got rid of my white shoes.

Ahhh..... Here' an interesting ad that makes my cognition go up. 3/4 through the magazine is an ad for Halle Berry's new fragrance. It's available at Wal-Mart for $26. The feminist in me contemplates this. How much of this is my issue? Think about it for a second. Wal-Mart is exploiting a very talented actress and based on the location of the ad within the magazine it leaves me pondering the targeted demographic of this magazine. I am upset by this. We're still making Rosa Parks sit in the back and I feel the black woman is falling prey to the same marketing scheme that white women fall into, ie the beauty myth. I can't think about this too much or I'll really set myself up for a bad day.

Forgive my digression, but I felt it was socially warranted. The Fall Shoe Guide: Of the 7 pair displayed on this page, all of them have a platform under the toe of the shoe.

pg 238 the review continues, and I won't lie. I'd wear the pair they have labeled as "Flat-Out." if I could afford a $298 pair of shoes.

Ugg runs an ad a few pages later. I respect the fact that the model does not at all look like a stripper, but then again we are talking Uggs here.

Nearing the end of the magazine and my train trip I am left feeling a bit sad that I won't be able to update my fall fashion wardrobe because I can't afford it. Instead, I have chosen to pay my bills early and throw in a little extra to try and stay ahead.

Then it hits me and my mood lightens.... Look out for the follow up blog where I will ask my readers to play a bit of a guessing game. Interspersed with civi's will be bits of the ol' uniform. Can you tell which is which?