Boat boy has slowly slipped from the graces of being an amazing person to a self absorbed asshole. Of course this might be a bit harsh, because it is all about me, right?
I'm tired of the text messages telling me how much he misses me and the next minute he's running out the door.
Yes, I might be a bit of a cunty snot, but a passed up opportunity for redemption does not help with my piss poor attitude.
Why is it whenever I decide to give up anal, I truly get fucked in the ass? Boat Boy was surprised in all of my whoring days, that was one space I did not give up. Some things are sacred and do not deserve to be shared with everyone and anyone. When I believe there is a bond growing between me and another I further surrender a part of me that is attached to a delicate part of my psyche. Now I sit back and watch the bond unravel as we both pull from opposite ends.
I can only sigh. This is my lot in life to never know what it means to truly be with someone. I am beginning to think I'm a fool for even trying. I hear the pole calling me back again, as the last time I had this much pain in my heart I was able to get it to scab over and get the hemorrhaging to stop. I can only ever be what I allow myself to be.
The other night while Boat Boy was trying to warm things up he made a smart ass comment which lead to me smacking his ass with my hair brush, resulting in the handle snapping.
It killed the moment, but the next day when I was putting my brush away at home, I found my meds that had gone missing. Fewwww..... Another month of staving of crazy..... or at least as close as I can get.
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