Let's start this one off with a bit of honesty. I have a lot of experience in sleeping with new guys. In fact, in reviewing the numbers since January '08 I'm somewhere around 10 partners or so. Some casual. Other with the hope of meaning more, and some still I'm not sure where they will end up. For the moment I'm single, and today right now here in this very moment, I am A.O.K. with that.
Cosmo does a nice job of giving 4 simple rules to follow. This is good because no matter how shit faced I get, I always have my fingers to count on to remember them. Simple. I like this. I think I can handle it. Of course, watch me get confused and invent a 5th.
Rule 1: Don't jump the gun. Oh, wait. See the first paragraph. I think it's a little late for that. However, Cosmo is advising against skipping the foreplay. I have to say I agree. I love to be kissed and caressed before I'm thrown around the bedroom and told all sorts of dirty nasty things. Yes, I like dirty talk.
Rule 2: Acknowledge awkward moments. I concur. I am a big believer that there needs to be laughter in the sack. Why? It relaxes everyone involved. It lightens the mood and makes it seem more playful, less serious. I've never been able to cum with a stick up my ass. Oh, wait....
Seriously though, some good one liners I've dropped are [in the process of putting on a condom that was too small] "Jesus Christ! It's like trying to put a tourniquet on the last place I want to cut off blood flow." After queifing: "What? You didn't want my vag to say 'thank you', too?". "Look. My labia are applauding your performance." On giving head, "I'm down here for oral sex, not oral hygiene. Please shave," or my all time favorite comment after sucking a dick is to burp and then insist on a high five. It's like I know I've just helped the team score.
Rule 3: Say something nice. Yeah, I'm not so good at this one. Guess I have a goal to work towards. However, I thought Cosmo did a good job of enlightening me [aka hardcore perv] about how it's important to let a guy know he's doing something you like. I am glad that Cosmo dispelled the myth that guys only care about their pleasure. I've found it to be about 90% of the exact opposite. Men are fixated on pleasing women. It's a symbol of their verility. I am one in three women who do no orgasm during regular penial vaginal intercourse. I wish I had a dollar for everytime I heard,"Don't worry, baby. I'll make you come." That's fine. Let me draw you a map. Like guys listen to directions?
Rule 4: Hold back from getting crazy acrobatic. AGREED! But for different reasons. Cosmo advises women to go with what they know rather than busting out some of the more complex moves from the Karma Sutra. By not knowing each other's bodies you can get frustrated and possibily even hurt yourself.
Now, here's why I don't throw my A game first time out. Most men don't stick around long enough to earn it. As the barriers of my psyche come down they are able to tap deeper and deeper into my sexuality and therefore amplify each encounter. Deviod and I were at about a B, whereas SD still holds the top spot.
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